body instructions

Andrew here.  As part of my April 4 piece (HORSES), the dancers and I all wrote instructions for our body.

THE TASK Imagine someone is going to “house-sit” your body for a few months.  Write down everything that person needs to know about how you take care of your body: food, sleep, illness, injuries, sex, appearance, exercise.  Be specific and concise.  Phrase everything in the second person, i.e. “You never got to the doctor, but you should.”

Here’s an excerpt:

To feel your best, eat steel-cut oats with almonds and rice milk in the morning.

Drink a double espresso on ice with half and half.

Drink a gallon of water during the day.

Take a multi-vitamin.

For lunch, eat deep leafy greens and a grain like quinoa or brown rice.

In general, the less time you spend obsessing about yourself, the better.

If you dress up and put makeup on, you get more attention and flirtation, which is nice because you haven’t been single for a while.  So, a little attention is nice.

If you wear jeans and sneakers, people think you’re “cute” and use language like “honey” and “sweetie.”

People have been commenting on your ass your ENTIRE life:
“You have the best ass ever.”
“You’re built like a black girl.”
“It’s so big.”
“Huge for a white girl.”
“Amazing.”
“Where’d you get that?”

During your period, don’t do anything except chill at home.

Take long hot showers whenever cramps start.  Take 3 advil every 3-4 hours.
Don’t drink coffee or wine.

You don’t have health insurance, so it’s all preventative care: acupuncture, going to the gym, getting massages, eating green vegetables, taking Chinese herbs.

Don’t overwork.  Overworking makes you stressed.  Being stressed for too long gives you panic attacks.  Panic attacks leave you depressed and sluggish.

You love cigarettes.  But don’t smoke them.